Da Jerk

I koncernen har vi en interntidning. På sista sidan är det alltid någon medarbetare som blir intervjuad, jag har väntat länge på att det ska bli min tur, men nu tryter tålamodet och jag får helt enkelt intervjua mig själv med samma frågor..

First name/surname: Jerker Eriksson
Department: Sourcing & Logistics
Position: Support engineer
Location: Kista, Sweden
Joined the company on: 10th of February 2000
Age: 33
Nationality: Swede
Hobbies: sport, girls, drinking, hunting
Favourite meal: My Moose-stew or my Lasagna or maybe what we in Sweden calls Coal-bottom
Favourite drink: My next one

How do you want your job to develop?
I'd really appreciate if I could win the lottery this weekend so I no longer need to work, until that happens I could stand if the other employees at least could try to learn something about this company so they don't need to ask me every single time..
Where would you like to see the company in the year 2010?
From a distance as I sip on my first drink for the day...
If you could choose another job, what would you like to do?
I'm getting to old for a profesional hockey player, so I'd like to try Lotto-millionaire...
What makes you unique?
I've lived in Söder for 3 years now without being able to drag any kind of girlish-looking creature home from the bar..
If you had come into the world as an animal, which would it be?
Cat..all lazy and worthless..when it's really neccessary I can cuddle up and be cute..
What things are you not good at?
Well, picking up women is one..keep the money in the pocket..and despite showing such interest for it, I'm not really good in sports either..
What is your greatest goal in life?
Get rich without trying..and to see Bajen take the gold at Söderstadion..eeh..pick up women also I guess..
Is there anything that you would still like to do?
What's the matter with you? Get rich, pick up women and see Bajen take the gold...jeez, how slow can a person get..
Which famous person do you admire the most?
Simon Helg...no..Nacka Skoglund of course..
What would you like to do at this very moment if everything were possible and you had no other commitments?
Take the broom away from the cleaning-lady and sweep her of her feet..not with the broom..
What for you is the height of bad taste?
Sleeping with me I guess..no, aik & djyrgårn..maybe those blue and with at the backside also..
When you think of Switzerland, what do you think of?
Hedlund & Nadine, now 20...

Sådär, då har jag gjort intervjun till interntidningen..om GM ass råkar se detta så står det dig fritt att kopiera det hela och skicka till redaktören..